Just when life gets "comfortable" or "familiar," that's when the earth as you know it begins to shake. It seems the waves of this healing ocean like to rise and crash into us every so often. Perhaps to instill some lesson about love... I personally, had just been smacked by a tsunami. I had gotten comfortable with the ever changing events of my life. This is the first year of my Saturn return and it has been intense to say the least. However, I was becoming more comfortable with my grief of losing my mother. I had healed so much and become so many things I wanted to be. I had a plan to figure it all out with my career and I was motivated to be the change I so desperately wished to see in those around me. That is until my father passed away on December 18th. Tsunami is not even close to describing the size of this wave. It's funny how the universe spins her delicate web. I saw all the signs. I even spoke about them to others. But even if you see the wave rising, you are never prepared for its devastating crash. Knowing that, I continue to bang my head against the walls of my heart that have apparently turned to stone. One day I know I will break through the pain again even if that day feels like an eternity away. Until then, I am forced to surrender to a world I was never in control of to begin with.
All of this is to say that if your heart is heavy with grief, no matter the kind, just know I am with you. And despite my pain, despite me drowning in my own ocean of despair, I know there is an end to all of this. One day we will all find our peace. Until then, I am sending anyone who reads this the love and warmth they need to keep pushing through the pain.
You are not alone.
Your plight has not gone unnoticed.